hayson manning

One Food. Choose. Now!

The grunty teen and I were conversing - me in English and The Grunter in a series of caveman grunts I have yet to decipher because I have girly bits so I’ll never understand.

We were talking/grunting about food, more specifically what we would have for dinner. Head Clueless Wonder - the budding Gordon Ramsay was whooping it up in Sydney. 

Courtesy of Kevin Trotman Flickr Commons

The Grunter was unhappy I wouldn’t be serving sausages swimming in cheese. I explained that I couldn’t because I’d signed an online eradicate scurvy petition when he was born and every meal had to contain a green vegetable or fruit.

There we stood like duelists at dawn.

Courtesy of Doug Gelster Flickr Commons

We used to play this game when The Grunter was little and squishy and, well seemed to like me a whole lot more. If he could choose one thing to eat for the rest of your life what would it be? With nothing to lose I asked what he’d eat.

Grunter: “Sausages.”

Responsible parent: “Salad (a total lie, but I was going for the higher moral ground here, and to underscore the whole scurvy issue.)

Grunter: “A green apple.”

Responsible Parent: “Peanut butter.”I can and do stand in the kitchen and spoon that goodness right into my mouth. While I prefer crunchy I will take smooth.

Grunter: “Can, I make dinner?”

Responsible Parent: “Sure.” Shocked and deeply suspicious, I had the Thai restaurant down the road on speed dial.

Twenty minutes later, The Grunter and I sat at the table. On his plate was a partially burnt sausage covered in bbq sauce, a slice of cheese and half an apple. On mine was a handful of scattered lettuce, a single wonkily cut cherry tomato and the other half of the apple covered in peanut butter.

Courtesy of Glenn3095 Flickr Commons

Best meal of the week.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be? I think you can guess mine.

Does anyone know where I can purchase a manual on understanding grunty teen boys?