Monday, October 7, 2013

What Would You Do...

I thought I'd cross-posted this, but as I'm as smart as a pickled onion, I didn't.

I was sitting with a friend of mine and we were laughing about stupid stuff that’s happened to us. This got me thinking, which always scares the one cell in my head masquerading as a brain. I bring you Hayson’s Dilemmas. Basically, a ‘What would you do?’


You’ve just worked a crap night-shift at a bank. It’s midnight and you’re at Central Station, reading a book waiting for your train. You don’t notice the homeless, drunk man wandering your way with his peen flapping in the breeze, until your shoes fill with warmth.  

Horror hits your cheeks as you realize what’s happened. People shuffle away from you, because you’re the chic sitting frozen in place whose shoes are filled with pee. To add to the dilemma you’re wearing stockings. Worse dilemma is you freaking love these shoes. These shoes are like slippers. The shoes you’ve gone the yards with, broken through the blisters, limped your way to a glide. Your feet rejoice when they slip into them.

Do you?

A. Pretend walking around with pee in your shoes is an everyday occurrence and act like it never happened?

B. Lose the shoes and stockings in a bathroom at Central Station which is frequented by people loitering by doors with crazed eyes begging for a dollar. Do you risk hypothermia and people staring in horror at your winter Hobbit feet?

C. Step onto the train, hoping you don’t slosh pee over the floor, abandon your foot-friends at the station near your house, say a few kind words before running home?

That my friends is what I was faced with. I should preface this that a tiny sob escaped me before I made my decision.

Be honest, tell me what you’d do? Would you choose A, B or C from above or would you do something else.


  1. This reminds me of taking the subway from Murray Hill down to Wall Street for work every day. The train was always crowded on the way in, and somehow, I always got stuck standing in front of the pervert who used the ride as a cheap date. I can't tell you how often I had to get my coat dry-cleaned. People wonder why Californians are so addicted to their cars...I know why I love mine!

    I also love my shoes. If I were in yours, I'd probably take them off, and the stockings, go home barefoot. Then I'd beg the local shoe repair guy for a miracle.

  2. Sam! Thanks so much for stopping by. Oh, I would have had a standard order at the dry-cleaners! That reminds me of when I lived in London and would end up smashed under an armpit on the tube. Shudder.

    I did love those shoes...

    H x