I was sitting
with a friend of mine and we were laughing about stupid stuff that’s happened
to us. This got me thinking, which always scares the one cell in my head masquerading
as a brain. I bring you Hayson’s Dilemmas. Basically, a ‘What would you do?’
Dilemma.
You’ve just
worked a crap night-shift at a bank. It’s midnight and you’re at Central
Station, reading a book waiting for your train. You don’t notice the homeless,
drunk man wandering your way with his peen flapping in the breeze, until
your shoes fill with warmth.
Horror hits your
cheeks as you realize what’s happened. People shuffle away from you, because
you’re the chic sitting frozen in place whose shoes are filled with pee. To add
to the dilemma you’re wearing stockings. Worse dilemma is you freaking love
these shoes. These shoes are like slippers. The shoes you’ve gone the yards
with, broken through the blisters, limped your way to a glide. Your feet
rejoice when they slip into them.
Do you?
A. Pretend
walking around with pee in your shoes is an everyday occurrence and act like it
never happened?
B. Lose the shoes
and stockings in a bathroom at Central Station which is frequented by people
loitering by doors with crazed eyes begging for a dollar. Do you risk
hypothermia and people staring in horror at your winter Hobbit feet?
C. Step onto the
train, hoping you don’t slosh pee over the floor, abandon your foot-friends at
the station near your house, say a few kind words before running home?
That my friends
is what I was faced with. I should preface this that a tiny sob escaped me
before I made my decision.
Be honest, tell
me what you’d do? Would you choose A, B or C from above or would you do
something else.
